October 11: Dead Snow. Rating: 2/5. Comment: I have tried to watch this in the past, but at the first sign of subtitles I immediately turned it off (I know, how uncultured am I?). This time, I was determined to stick it out, and I wish I’d have stuck to my guns in the first place. I wanted to rate this a solid one star, but I let my better half talk me into giving it a two based on the fact that it has a good sound track and a bunch of mean World War II Nazi soldiers were brought back to life just to get killed again. That’s it. That’s the whole of the plot. Other highlights include the following: it referenced multiple pop culture horror movies, paying a special tribute to Evil Dead; the not-so-friendly “neighborhood historian” paid a visit to the cabin on the mountain to tell the kids beware of waking “the evil” and then was brutally slain by said evil while sleeping in the world’s flimsiest tent just a few trees over; and while out searching for his missing (presumed dead) girlfriend, the “hero” with military training decides to take a day-long break to explore a hidden underground cave — so much for “Never leave a man behind.” Why not? She was probably already dead anyway. Perhaps my favorite completely gratuitous and utterly revolting scene was the outhouse tryst between two virtual strangers. You’ve never done that on a camping excursion? Well, I don’t recommend it — you’ll probably get murdered by zombies. That’s the lesson I learned.
Peace and love.