October 26, 2015 Fall Frightfest

Standard

October 26: The Cottage. Rating: 1/5. Comment: The obvious and completely impossible ending of this movie could not come soon enough. Clearly based at least in part on the Sharon Tate et al. murders by a bunch of girls brainwashed by Charles Manson, the flaws in this flick were staggering. First, imagine a middle-aged man makes a comment about your teenage daughter’s sexy clothes, stares at you while he goes swimming naked in your pool, and steals the baby monitor so he can effectively spy on you without getting caught. Further envision that your best friend, daughter’s boyfriend, and husband all turn up missing within a span of a few days of his arrival, but you are surprisingly unalarmed. Finally, pretend you decide, for some reason, that you don’t want to call the police after you catch him standing in your bedroom and holding your baby and, while still reeling from that unpleasantness, you discover he has sent hundreds of emails to your 14 year old daughter, to whom he claims to be engaged. At what point do you finally decide to involve law enforcement officials? Is it when the lawyers inform you that, as a tenant of your property, he may enter your home any time he wishes, as it was not specified in writing he could not? Is it when he mentions having “witnessed” a hit-and-run accident in which your former tenant died? Is it when you see he has stolen your cat? I just don’t know when the appropriate time to call the cops would be. As it turns out, neither did our protagonists. That’s why they died.

Peace and love.

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