I am fairly certain that everyone will wake up at least once in the course of their lives thinking, “Man, I really don’t want to go to work today.” If you have not experienced the dread that follows a realization that you must, indeed, change out of your pajamas, take some DayQuil, trudge through the blizzard, and pretend to feel healthy for eight hours, you have likely not had a full-time job on which all of your bills depend. (Side note: if that feeling is a daily occurrence or makes you cry regularly, you probably should consider a life change and start updating your resume. You need to rectify your situation before an actual depression sinks its claws in.)
Carrying on, I will now delve into some more of what I believe would be the worst career choices possible. The options below would cause me great personal angst. If you have not read part 1 of this series, please check it out!
Stunt Double: I realize there are people in the world, known as “adrenaline junkies,” who enjoy jumping off really tall things and sitting in really fast things. I don’t. In fact, I don’t even like the view from a plane as it comes in for a typical landing. So, to spend a lifetime doing the dangerous things a rich celebrity is unable — or unwilling — to do for themselves sounds like a waking nightmare to me. I never want to be on fire, even in a flame-retardant suit while a director yells, “Action!” I will never purposely crash a car, despite the profits a blockbuster might make at my expense. I have a bad back; jumping from a moving train is no longer on my bucket list.
Funeral Director: This business is unappealing to me for many reasons. First and foremost, I cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I cry at sad commercials. Once, I was crying for no reason, then started laughing about how I was crying at nothing, then started crying because I was embarrassed. I cannot possibly imagine how people who work at funeral homes can bear to wake up and put on their suits each day. At best, their lives consist of dealing in death, with their entire focus always being consumed with the end of life. “Honey, let’s plan our future together,” exclaims the wife exuberantly. “Why bother?” her funeral home-owning husband replies dejectedly. At worst, they get paid extravagant amounts by grieving families to pretend to care about their lost loved ones.
There will be more to come later in this series, so please keep an eye out! Peace and love.