Fall Frightfest Oct. 16, 2018

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October 16: Splatter. Rating: 1/5. Comment: Oh my. Apparently this was supposed to be some sort of Netflix original webisode? I was convinced this was a high school play that Tony Todd had volunteered to star in. He was assuredly made to do so under duress — perhaps it was a bargain he struck so that the drama teacher would write his daughter a good recommendation for college. The facial expressions and reactions were unrealistic and inappropriately understated, given the gravity of the situation (being trapped in the house of a murderous ghost while your acquaintances are picked off one by one). The lines were stilted and ill-performed. There was weird concave lighting. The scenery was shoddy. The special effects were laughable. The fake blood and rotting skin was just cherry Kool Aid poured over a sticky hand from the quarter machine outside the grocery store, probably. Yet, in the words of an online reviewer far wiser than me, “This isn’t the worst thing Corey Feldman has done.” In summation, I loved it. But you honestly, seriously, really won’t. Stay away.

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