Fall Frightfest Oct. 22, 2018


October 22: Curve. Rating: 1/5. Comment: The longer this went on, the more I hated it. No. That’s not true. I hated it pretty much from the start. The villain shows up in the first five minutes with an unenlightened and immature outlook on the world, much like that of an aging stoner who has an epiphany that all the other people at the party realized when they were eight (and here I am paraphrasing): “Dudes! What are events if not, like, you know, a bunch of random coincidences that lead to now?! Whoa! Your car broke down and I saw it and then we met! Life is just a series of chance happenings! I can, like, do something and that will lead to something else!” And then she tries to kill him, and then he tries to kill her, and then she tries to not die, and then she finds him and tries to not kill him, and then he doesn’t die. I literally can’t even with this movie. Julianne Hough, you’re so pretty. Can’t you make a single good film? Be a little choosy and you won’t be stuck with embarrassing, first-day-of-film-school-assignment garbage on your resume.

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