Author Archives: rfornelli

About rfornelli

I am a teacher in North Dakota.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 25, 2018

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October 25: Ash Vs. Evil Dead: Booth 3. Rating: 4/5. Comment: Ruby of the past, now in the future somehow after murdering present Ruby and altering the Baal deal, comes up with a scheme aimed at wiping out Ash and all of Ash’s progeny. She also gives birth again to another bouncing bundle of nightmare fuel. I docked one point because her hair in this episode was, in a word, disastrous. I also thought Brandy should have seen through her act, but, you know, traumatized kids whose parents were just murdered by an underworld demon aren’t necessarily the most observant.

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Fall Frightfest Oct. 24, 2018

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October 24: Ash Vs. Evil Dead: Family. Rating: 5/5. Comment: Not surprisingly, it turns out Ash is recognized as a hero among his hometown peeps and cashes in on it. He also gets more than he bargained for in a ridiculously logical and totally believable plot twist.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 23, 2018

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October 23: Ash Vs. Evil Dead: Second Coming. Rating: 2/5. Comment: I just couldn’t understand the plot of this one. Somehow they changed the past yet wound up in the present where nothing had changed but Pablo’s fate. I was so disgruntled by this episode that Josh researched it and found out that the director quit over “creative differences” and the whole thing was changed from what was supposed to have happened. Anyway, a crappy end to Season 2, but on to bigger and better.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 22, 2018

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October 22: Curve. Rating: 1/5. Comment: The longer this went on, the more I hated it. No. That’s not true. I hated it pretty much from the start. The villain shows up in the first five minutes with an unenlightened and immature outlook on the world, much like that of an aging stoner who has an epiphany that all the other people at the party realized when they were eight (and here I am paraphrasing): “Dudes! What are events if not, like, you know, a bunch of random coincidences that lead to now?! Whoa! Your car broke down and I saw it and then we met! Life is just a series of chance happenings! I can, like, do something and that will lead to something else!” And then she tries to kill him, and then he tries to kill her, and then she tries to not die, and then she finds him and tries to not kill him, and then he doesn’t die. I literally can’t even with this movie. Julianne Hough, you’re so pretty. Can’t you make a single good film? Be a little choosy and you won’t be stuck with embarrassing, first-day-of-film-school-assignment garbage on your resume.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 21, 2018

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October 21: The Veil. Rating: 3/5. Comment: This flick was genuinely original with an interesting story line. Was it horrifying? Mostly no. That being said, the actors acted the deuce out of their script! The (obviously) Jim Jones-esque cult leader was spectacular. Admittedly, at times, the scenes were a little hard to follow. The lighting was not good — intentionally, but it still made it hard to figure out what was going on. Overall, I’d recommend this one, on the basis that you promise not to get offended by the content. Promise?

Fall Frightfest Oct. 20, 2018

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October 20: Ash Vs. Evil Dead: Home Again. Rating: 5/5. Comment: Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse, Ash does something like this — and totally redeems himself. No, I’m wrong. He makes a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad choice and makes things ridiculously complicated. Also, Kelly and Ruby were, essentially, useless after the first five minutes of this episode. Ugh. Women.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 18, 2018

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October 18: Ash Vs. Evil Dead: Delusion. Rating: 5/5. Comment: Ash wakes up in an old, run-down insane asylum. Much like in the Wizard of Oz, most of the past 30 years were actually part of a dream. Patients and hospital staff played large roles in Ash’s “memories.” Spoiler: I’m not sure we can trust this storyline because it is clear throughout the episode that we can’t trust this storyline. But I’m sure you knew that already. Furthermore, it is the unanimous opinion of the Frightfest judges that this show was surprisingly scary with a distinct Nightmare-on-Elm-Street-meets-One-Flew-Over-the-Cuckoo’s-Nest vibe.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 17, 2018

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October 17: Ash Vs. Evil Dead: Trapped Inside. Rating: 5/5. Comment: Ash and the gang find themselves trapped by an angry mob — something about him murdering a young woman at a bar/being Ashy Slashy. His sister, Cheryl, who died in the original movie, returns with an ax to grind. Pablo, tortured by his link to the book, possibly gives the team a way to banish Baal. Eventually, Ash is knocked unconscious.

Fall Frightfest Oct. 16, 2018

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October 16: Splatter. Rating: 1/5. Comment: Oh my. Apparently this was supposed to be some sort of Netflix original webisode? I was convinced this was a high school play that Tony Todd had volunteered to star in. He was assuredly made to do so under duress — perhaps it was a bargain he struck so that the drama teacher would write his daughter a good recommendation for college. The facial expressions and reactions were unrealistic and inappropriately understated, given the gravity of the situation (being trapped in the house of a murderous ghost while your acquaintances are picked off one by one). The lines were stilted and ill-performed. There was weird concave lighting. The scenery was shoddy. The special effects were laughable. The fake blood and rotting skin was just cherry Kool Aid poured over a sticky hand from the quarter machine outside the grocery store, probably. Yet, in the words of an online reviewer far wiser than me, “This isn’t the worst thing Corey Feldman has done.” In summation, I loved it. But you honestly, seriously, really won’t. Stay away.