Tag Archives: caring

This Thanksgiving Season

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It is the time of year when people begin to express their gratitude for the good things in their lives. Of course, I could go on and on about being thankful for owning a home, my husband and I each having stable jobs, being in relatively good health, and all the expected sentiments: pets, good weather, and full bellies. In light of all that has happened in my family, good and bad, this year, I am going to take a moment and share from my heart.

Last fall, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has been receiving chemo for just over a year, had a double-mastectomy in the spring, and went through six weeks of radiation this summer. It is a hard process to watch, but with determination and a caring medical team, my mom was recently told by her doctor she is officially a “survivor.” This Thanksgiving, I am grateful for my mom, as never before.

In May, my dad suffered a massive stroke in two parts of his brain. He has come through with much less damage and fewer long-term effects than anyone thought possible. Then, in the summer, he had heart surgery. His doctors are surprised and proud of his resilience. He has healed quickly and has not lost his sense of humor. I am so thankful I am able to call my dad and argue over politics and hear his laugh.

Three weeks ago, my parents were sleeping when their house caught fire. They barely escaped and spent four days in the hospital recuperating from smoke damage. In a year where our family has had its share of disappointments and crises, this tops the list of being a mental and emotional drain. However, I believe, truly, that God sent angels to protect my parents’ lives while all around them was destruction.

In the midst of all of this, my husband and I were receiving fertility treatments that did not work. How can we find a blessing in this for which to be thankful? We have been inundated by friendship and support that was both unexpected and greatly appreciated. Our community, our friends, even strangers have been so thoughtful, uplifting, generous, and positive that it has helped me face the task of filling out adoption paperwork (so much paperwork!) and readying for our home visit with optimism. It is so much easier to do a difficult task when you know that people want you to succeed; we have received cards, phone calls, letters, and social media messages that I will forever store in my heart. I did not know, when I wrote about our fertility struggles, how many people this problem affects. Nor did I know how supportive people would be by the announcement that we were beginning to look into adoption. People have been so kind, understanding, and excited for us that it reinforces — in the midst of all the negativity in the world today and, particularly, in our country this week — the idea that most people are genuinely good, caring, and loving. Please know that we genuinely appreciate all the support we have received, and cannot express our thankfulness adequately enough.

Peace and love.14480660_10209711720605577_7351541725707216488_o (1).jpg

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Ways We Can Improve Our Society: Part Two

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Check out part one for more ideas!

Thankfully, the number of potential candidates for the Presidency has dwindled slightly. Unfortunately, most of those who remain are the loudest, angriest, and most arrogant.  If I actually believed politicians would be willing to listen to the desires of the people they claim to represent, I would offer them the following suggestions for how we, as a nation, might grow and change. Instead, I am relying on the people to change what we can, provided we can stop insulting and berating each other on social media for how our political policy beliefs differ.

To begin, I believe our country (our world, in fact) would be a better place if everyone was required to give another human being a genuine compliment every single day. I’m sure there is a government bureaucrat out there somewhere who is tired of getting paid for reading magazines and pretending to file paperwork. Let him be in charge of tracking how quickly general happiness, self-esteem, and optimism skyrocket under the new Renee Fornelli Love agenda. There’s some type of computer program that can make graphs and pie charts, I assume. He could even create a survey — and we all know how important polls are these days — and build data. There would be so much more paperwork to “file” (and, by file, I mean lose/shred/stick in a box in a warehouse)! What an exciting job for that formerly bored government employee!

Next up, we can easily improve our world through the utilization of recycling centers. Last summer, my husband and I decided to make regular recycling a part of our lives. I organized a small corner of our home to store paper, cans, and plastic bottles. I have a couple pictures of my bins below. It takes, maybe, twenty minutes a month to gather up and drop off all the items that, previously, would have gone towards filling up our landfill. Instead of having companies make new things, they can refashion and reuse old things. Isn’t that “shabby chic” idea all the rage right now? Please consider making a better effort to go green. I was surprised — pleasantly — by how little effort recycling actually takes. Save our planet — it’s the only place we have to live!

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Last on the agenda today is the need and desire for our society to consider pet adoption. Statistics show there are many benefits to owning a pet. They can help to lower blood pressure, ease depression symptoms, and detect an owner’s serious illness, for starters.  Cats and dogs, especially, are excellent companions for children and adults, and offer a wide array of services to offset any minor inconveniences that go along with pet ownership. Dogs provide protection and a sense of security to people with disabilities and those living alone; they also learn tricks and make for great exercise buddies. Cats are useful for killing rodents and are particularly good snugglers. For example, my cats are great foot warmers in the dead of winter, though they do often steal all the blankets and fashion a nest for themselves, leaving me to shiver uncontrollably through the night. Be that as it may, I know they love me because they show it in other ways. They meet me at the door when I get home from work. They lay beside me and purr when I’m sick. They “sing” with me and often answer when I talk to them. They “pet” my hair and give me kisses. They leave fake mice in my purse if I leave it unzipped, and I often find toys in the toe of my boots when I slip them on. They are content to lay in my lap for hours. They fill my heart with joy and happiness.

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So, to all of you petless people, I will encourage you to go to a shelter and adopt a pet. You do not need to spend hundreds of dollars to buy one from a dealer or a pet store. Often, people give pets away for free. Pets provide comfort, acceptance, and companionship to lonely people. They give entertainment and add excitement to daily chores. They offer unconditional love. People with pets are almost always happier because of them. That’s why they fill your Facebook news feed with so many pictures of them.

So, if we can change our attitudes and behaviors, we can change our world for the better. I’m willing to give it a try. Are you?

P.S. We don’t actually need the government telling us to compliment each other. Just do it on your own. It feels great for the recipient as well as the giver. Make each other happy today!

Peace and love.

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Love Is in the Air

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I love weddings. I should clarify that: I love the idea of weddings.

I love the idea that two people, despite the odds of divorce, which are ever-increasingly stacked against them, believe that their love will last “until death parts them.” I love that two people are willing to commit themselves, fully, completely, voluntarily, to only one other person for the rest of their lives. I love the idea that each person in the marriage is willing to sacrifice their own desires, needs, whims, hopes, dreams, or plans, if it means the other will find fulfillment. I love the idea that they trust that their love is stronger than their independence, stronger than their recklessness, stronger than their irresponsibility, for they are willing to exchange all of those traits for a lifetime of partnership, forgiveness, and accountability. I love that, while they each lose their individual freedom, they gain a comfortable security. I love the idea that they both desire only the best things in life for the one person they adore above all others. I love that both people in the marriage promise, on entering the union, to value, trust, support, care for, and respect his or her partner until the end of their days.

I love that a wedding is the beginning of a marriage.

I love that there is a friendship so strong between two people, one they fear losing so greatly, that they devote every thought and action of every day to keeping that friendship stable and healthy and balanced and, most importantly alive. Relationships take work or, much like the cactus in my kitchen, they die slowly, a little at a time, until, unfortunately, they are unable to be revived.

Marriage, at its core, is a long-term inside joke between two best friends. A culture develops for the two people inside the relationship that others simply do not understand.

A wedding, in effect, is a statement that each partner will create a life-long secret world shared only by those two people. No one else is invited in to explore. No one can board a plane and vacation there for a while. Though there are always outside observers staring over the fence, no one else fully gets the couple’s world. No one understands their special language. No one was there for all the memories the pair created. No one has seen all the arguments, the laughs, the slow-dances, the tears.

Nobody else gets the joke. Nobody else needs to. Don’t you just love weddings?

Peace and love.199400_1027251397347_5685_n

Why Everyone Should Own A Pet

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For those of you whose homes are free from the shedding of a four-legged friend, the next time your child brings home a stray and begs, “Can we keep him?!”, I highly suggest you acquiesce. (This, of course, assumes you don’t have a deadly allergy to pet dander and aren’t living in a pet-free rental.) There are many reasons owning a pet is a good idea. Allow me to elaborate.

First and foremost, pets calm you down. In fact, petting a cat or dog has been shown to lower blood pressure and resting heart rates. Even more interesting, stroking a four-legged friend for a while releases a hormone in both people and their pet to help them relax. My cat, Archimedes, sometimes even pets me back. 575881_10200791047474324_2035806325_n

Along with helping their people relax, pets often have a calmness that aids in sleep. Speaking as someone who suffers from insomnia, there are times when the only way I can sleep is if my cats are purring beside (or, often, on top of) me. It’s almost better than taking a sleeping pill. If there is one thing cats know, it is sleep.

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Pets can also energize us. Taking the dog for a walk, playing fetch, grooming — all of those things help create a healthy, active lifestyle for people and their pet. My cats, Magellan in particular, often help me in my workouts, and by “help,” I actually mean “hinder.” I usually have to exercise around them, in spite of them, over top of them, or while using them as weights. But, they keep me on my toes and help my coordination and balance.

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Furthermore, Archimedes does play fetch.

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Another reason to own a pet is they can distract people from boring, tedious jobs and make life more fun. Mine, in fact, help me correct my students’ papers, aid in my reading and planning for the week, and promptly let me know when I have done enough for the day.

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Pets provide unconditional love. They are always happy to see their people, no matter how long it has been or how much they have destroyed in the house in all those long, empty hours they were home alone. And, if for no other reason, you should own a pet for the company. Life is never dull when a fur-baby owns you. Peace and love.

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To My Students: What I Want You To Know

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Dear Students,

I am writing to explain a few things I feel you should know. I realize that it is sometimes hard for you to understand things from my perspective, so I hope this helps to make my views clearer.

I want you to know that I believe that my job is one of the most important in the world, but also one of the most difficult. It is mentally and physically taxing. It is often so stressful that it makes me an emotional wreck. Meetings with coworkers, administrators, community members, and parents, and even meetings with you, often make me feel like I could and should be doing more. I walk away feeling inadequate and unappreciated. I want you to know that I am doing the best that I can. I know how much your learning depends on my being adequate. I want you to know that I know your future depends on my success.

Being a teacher means many long, unpaid hours spent planning, correcting, and reflecting. I want you to know that I do it so I am prepared for you each day. I also want you to know that when you say my class is “boring” or the story we are reading is “stupid,” it makes me feel like I should have prepped better or tried harder to reach you — in essence, I take those comments to heart. I want you to know that it hurts to hear you hate me.

I want you to know that I care about you. I care about what you learn in my classroom, which will, I hope, be more than just the formal rules of grammar. I want you to learn how to be a kind, compassionate, deep-thinking adult with a realistic view of the world. I want you to know that I secretly hope that, as you grow, you will be an optimist, because having a positive view leads to a long, happy life.

Finally, I want you to know that I am here for you, to help when and how I can, to cheer you on, to lend support. I hope I can motivate and inspire you. I want to make getting an education fun for you, so you will recognize the importance of learning throughout your life. I want you to know that if you make the effort, I will make it worth your time.

Peace and love.IMG_20150210_081406_717