Comment: If it’s wrong for a thirty-seven year old to love SpongeBob, I don’t wanna be right. In this episode, SpongeBob is mocked by everyone for being ridiculously easy to scare. He and Patrick decide to turn the tables and give SpongeBob a costume that will make everyone afraid. After a few attempts, they succeed in doing the impossible: he frightens even the ghost of the Flying Dutchman. How? You’ll have to watch to find out.
Comment: We are always up for a War of the Worlds parody, and this episode did not disappoint. Maurice LaMarche (aka Brain from Pinky and the Brain) is one of Josh’s favorite voice actors, so it was a pleasant surprise that he is featured prominently here. Overall, it’s worth a watch, if only to check out the super creepy veiny alien head costumes.
October 29: Ghost Adventures: Horror at Joe Exotic Zoo.
Comment: This is the two-hour Halloween special I’ve waited my whole life for, showing us everything we ever wanted to know about Joe Exotic’s haunted home. It has it all: ghost mists, glowing eyes that don’t belong to the zoo’s living inhabitants, cadaver dogs catching a scent of human remains, disembodied voices, police cover-ups, a close-up of a horse peeing, and a married couple’s hidden…tools. My love for all things Tiger King grows.
October 28: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers.
Comment: Michael Myers wakes from a year-long coma, having been healed by a hobo living in the woods after being shot with a shotgun through the ribcage. This is particularly disappointing for the vagrant, whom Michael immediately kills. It is also a stroke of bad luck for the policemen, who not only had shot him but dynamited the well he fell into, which I will elaborate upon shortly The only one not surprised Michael didn’t die is Dr. Loomis, whom I will henceforth refer to as Dr. First-Class Amazeballs Genuine Hero. Jamie, after having stabbed the foster mother everyone in the movie keeps calling her stepmother, is staying in the Haddonfield children’s hospital and develops a psychic link to her uncle. Her parents decide they will spend the first Halloween since the attacks “out of town in the country” rather than even once visiting Jamie in the hospital. Michael, of course, kills Jamie’s foster sister as soon as he gets a chance — I mean, her parents did leave her alone for a week, less than a year after she heroically rescues Jamie from a mass murderer, with only a dog for protection. Jamie teams up with the good doc to lay a trap for Michael. They drop a metal trap (ala the coyote and roadrunner) onto our villain, which stuns and disables him long enough for Dr. F-CAGH to beat him so thoroughly it causes the doc to have a heart attack and die. Michael takes the beating stoically. The movie ends when we discover not only that Michael arrived in Haddonfield with enough time to kill a homeless guy, Rachel, some hooligan in a hot rod, three teenagers and two cops at an illegal house party, and the doctor at the Children’s hospital, but also that someone likes him enough to bust him out of jail and lay all the police to waste, for the second time in as many years. Simply stunning.
Comment: This episode was included on the Halloween dvd, and it was alright. It’s not something I would recommend you hunt down for your little for Halloween, but if you happened to pick up the movie, it won’t be a disappointment. Spike is dreaming of being chased, and the babies give him all sorts of comfort objects to help him through his nightscare (instead of waking him up). Spike wakes up and is happy because the babies took care of him. As a side note, I’m writing this a few days after viewing, and I’m still thinking about the fact that Spike was dreaming he was being chased, yet when my cats are “running” in their sleep I automatically assume they are chasing birds and mice and fish. WHAT IF MY BABIES ARE RUNNING FROM SOMETHING? It makes me really sad thinking about them having bad dreams! I’m ashamed that it took a Rugrats episode to wake me up to this possibility.
October 25: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers.
Comment: It hasn’t been explained, yet, how this mortal man can survive being shot multiple times including in the head, falling off a balcony onto his back, burned up in a fire, and driving off a bridge into a river, all without uttering so much as an “Ow,” but here we are. I think my irritation with this series is that in other supernatural slasher franchises, the unstoppable villain is set from the get: Freddy was murdered and his ghost is killing the descendants of his killers in their dreams, Mrs. Vorhees is seeking revenge for the accidental drowning of her son, Jason died and has come back from the dead to punish irresponsible (albeit innocent) teenagers for their negligence; a violent criminal is shot by police but sends his spirit into a doll to possess it when he dies. See? Reasons (whether rational or believable or not) for why and how the evildoers act. Four movies into this series, I am having a hard time suspending my disbelief because there are too many questions: how does Michael have such superhuman strength and seems unable to be killed despite repeated injuries and counterattacks, yet his doctors insist they are treating him, indicating he is alive? Why isn’t he blind after Laurie shot him in both eyes? Why did he kill only his sister and not his parents? Why does he waste time killing so many other people if his goal is to kill Laurie and Jamie just because they are related to him? Why doesn’t he feel pain — does he have that super rare disease? How can he survive all the blood loss and continue on at full strength? How was he able to kill all the officers in the police station — does he have an accomplice we have never heard of? Each subsequent movie is making me so unhappy.
Comment: Is this a Halloween movie? When you have a three-year-old who is scared of Rugrats cartoons, yes, it is. The fact that he sat through it with very little screaming is in and of itself a miracle. I mean, besides the main character being an ogre, there is a fire-breathing dragon to contend with. Regardless, this movie is adorable, hilarious, and has a bunch of fantastic lessons we should all take to heart: beauty is in the eye of the beholder, don’t judge someone on their looks, friendships and love come in all shapes and sizes, everyone feels like an outsider sometimes….You get the idea.
Comment: I had a hard time deciding what to rate this movie. When we started it up, we were under the impression that it was a continuation of the Michael Meyers story, with more than just a passing reference in the form of the first movie being played on the television a character is watching. We were unaware that the original intent of the producers was to create a series about Halloween itself, with the first story being that of Michael, and the next story that of the witches making Halloween masks that would sprout bugs and snakes that killed the wearers. On the one hand, I thought it was a cool concept, bridging the gap between horror and science fiction. On the other hand, no Michael killing Jamie Lee Curtis? Lame. There were lots of holes in this plot and some sketchy doctor taking advantage of his patient’s teenage daughter action.
October 22: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXI. Rating: 5/5. Comment: Another stellar installment of the series’ Halloween specials. This episode’s opener was a parody of The Office where Frankenstein’s monster is the boss. We knew at the moment we heard the familiar opening song were in for a good show, and it did not disappoint. The first full segment was a Jumanji-esque story line in which Bart and Milhouse must finish “Satan’s Path” or the world will be overrun by the other game board pieces and characters (ok, it was a lot cooler than it sounds). It moves to Homer and Marge, on a second honeymoon in the middle of the ocean on a rented boat, rescuing a lone survivor of a murder plot on another ship, ala Dead Calm (a movie I haven’t seen but now want to). The episode ends with a hilarious parody of Twilight, where Edmund’s dad is Dracula who is completely annoyed by Homer at the dinner table.
October 21: The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXIV.
Comment: I can’t explain the depths to which I love this episode. It starts with a truly impressive opening sequence made up of a bunch of horror and science fiction characters converging on Springfield. The first full segment is an amazing Dr. Seuss parody which is both clever and eerie. The second segment is a nightmare scenario in which Bart’s decapitated head is sewn onto Lisa’s shoulders. The final segment clearly calls back to American Horror Story’s Freak Show season as well as a movie from the 1930s called Freaks, and makes me smile just thinking about it.